THE Without

Just came from work, kicked off my shoes, rubbed my own feet, and drew my own bath, made my own dinner, and got in bed looking over at the empty space. Now what's missing here?? My biggest without is dampering on my conscious and beginning to bother me. I know its good to, you know...be positive...and patient...say things like, "Things will get better." But hell, There are also times when you say, "F that ish!" and gripe and complain til you feel better...lol. I'm just really "tired" of this present situation I'm in. No one to call, kick it with, get some male-to-female advice. I mean I have friends (friend-girls), but I need a guy. A guy to chat with and not feel I need to watch what I say because I might be leading him on. Every girl needs a good guy friend. One to talk with, chill, watch the game, play the game, exercise maybe, and definitely let off some steam from the estrogen atmosphere. Friend-boys??!!! Where are you??!!

The Withouts

Lately, I've been having some frustrations on the "withouts". So for those of you reading and may not know... I am a Christian, but of course born a sinner. So I will mess up from time to time. No one is perfect. It has been quite awhile for my "withouts", and it's leading to some really bad frustrations. And you know when a woman gets FED UP, all hell may break loose! lol. And that's exactly what I'm trying not to do and then end up making a stupid decision. I know some people use people...things... to fulfill the withouts, but that just does NOT cut it for me. I am a creature of emotions and to share such a DEEP emotion with lackadaisical actions is not acceptable for me. Now, I am not knocking anyone who does otherwise, but we're talking about me here...lol :)
I went to church today and the message helped confirm some things about the choices that I am making are not in vain. Thank you Jesus! God will honor my obedience and from there blessings will follow. He knows the desires of my heart and what's best for me. God will show conviction and confirmation in any Christian's decisions for those who have the Holy Spirit inside. No one said living a holy life would be easy...but I embrace it.
I want a guy to be attracted to my mind and not the chest-waist-backside proportions.
~~I'll leave that for another blog.. c(-:

Ok, so my friends seem to be in a new phase, where grown men appease the mind and body. While "love" in my opinion, has no age limit. There's a fine line when determining this. Now, my philosophy is, "If you will regret it, don't do it!" As for me, I have always been in the realm for men being older than I because my whole attitude is very mature for my age. My thing is to never be with a man older than my eldest brother which is 8 years from my age. I actually think 5 years is pushing it, but to each his own. I just pray and hope the decisions they make don't become seeds of regret, hurt, and despair. I think solely these men still see babies just coming from the womb, experiencing a new world. But that double digit, "21" changes the game and makes the baby bottle a bit more sweeter.


Onto other things...

I am just going to say it, I'm available..lol. No one ever believes me when I say I've been single for 3 years. Dare I make it 4?? Hope not. I look at my phone...Bless its heart because it barely gets used. 2010 will have some BIG changes and hopefully all positive and for the better. So while people make their new year's resolutions, mine really have not changed and are goals for a lifetime. Maturity and growth are always in my 5 year, 10 year plan and I think I've done well so far.

2010--I'm transforming, transparent, and transcending. The best is always yet to come!